


Ferret Frenzy

by MotherOfBeardedDragons



Series: Petvengers [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Tower, Gen, Thor and Loki have sibling rivalry issues, clint needs to stay out of the air vents, doctor strange is never leaving the sanctum again, peter gets a pet ferret, petvengers, that's mostly the plot, there's a ferret loose in the tower, tony needs a drink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 09:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16115246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherOfBeardedDragons/pseuds/MotherOfBeardedDragons
Summary: Peter rescues a ferret from some bad guys and decides to hide it in the tower. What could possibly go wrong?Basically Tony's tools keep disappearing and Peter reveals there's a ferret loose in the tower.





	Ferret Frenzy

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to NinjagirlRebecca for suggesting Peter have a pet ferret. It definitely suits him. 
> 
> I definitely had fun writing this. It ended up being longer than I thought it would be.

   Peter Parker looked up from his computer screen as he heard Tony cursing and wandering around the lab. 

   “Is everything ok Mr. Stark?”

   “Yeah, I just can’t find that damn wrench. The small one, made of vibranium. I could have swore I left it over there.”

   “It’ll probably turn up,” Peter replied slightly nervously. He knew Tony had been really excited about his new tool. He’d have to track it down fast.

   “Yeah, well that’s like the fourth tool I’ve lost in the past few days. I don’t know what the hell’s happening,” Tony ran a frustrated hand through his hair. It was then that he noticed Peter’s nervous expression. “You don’t happen to know where my tools are do you?,” he asked, staring Peter down. 

   Peter jumped up from his chair, unable to tame his nervous energy, “Nope Mr. Stark. No idea. Why would you think I knew where your tools were? They’re probably around somewhere.” 

   “Yeah, about that. You’re a terrible liar. I still don’t know how the hell you manage to have a secret identity. So out with it. Where are my tools. And more importantly, why are they missing?,” Tony stated, putting a hand on Peter’s shoulder a guiding him over to a chair. He was pretty sure he knew what was happening. Peter was probably working on a project he didn’t want Tony to know about and had borrowed the tools. 

   Peter took a deep breath, “It was Loki.” 

   Tony blinked. “You’re saying the god of mischief stole my tools? While I wouldn’t put petty thievery past him…”

   “No not that Loki,” Peter said sighing. “I should have told you.”

   Tony sighed dramatically in reply. “Please enlighten me. I’d love to know what the hell is going on.”

   “I goddafarit,” Peter mumbled. 

   “What?”

   “I...got a ferret.”

   “A ferret?,” Tony asked, even more confused than before. 

   Peter nodded, “His name’s Loki. Not after that Loki specifically, more like the Loki from mythology. The trickster god known for…”

   “Yeah, I don’t need a lesson in Norse mythology. Can you please tell me what the hell a ferret named Loki has to do with all my missing tools?,” Tony asked in exasperation. Then it clicked. “That thing’s loose in my tower isn’t it?” 

   “It’s only been a couple of days. I almost caught him this morning. I’ve been leaving food out.”

   “Why the hell did you bring a ferret into the tower?,” Tony asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. He needed a drink. 

   “I found him in a bad guy’s hideout. I couldn’t bring him home, Aunt May would kill me. So I put him in the guest room here until I figured out what to do.”

   “And then he escaped and stole all my shit,” Tony replied. 

   “Ferrets like taking things. Especially if they’re shiny. I’ve been reading up on ferrets. Did you know ferrets are related to wolverines?”

   “Yeah I’m sure Logan would be thrilled to know that. Be sure to tell him that next time you see him. Look, you better read up on how to catch that damn thing.” 

   As weird and frustrating as the situation was, Tony actually wasn’t too stressed out. There had been weirder things loose in the tower before. Although that didn’t mean he wanted a rogue ferret running around taking his things. But he couldn’t be mad at Peter. He knew the kid’s heart was in the right place. He had rescued an animal from a bad situation. Still…

   Tony’s thoughts were interrupted by a shriek. He and Peter jumped up, ready to fly into action. Tony had a gauntlet ready and Peter had his webshooter primed. The scream had sounded like it came from above. They were both startled when someone came falling out of the air vent above, crashing onto a work table. 

   “Mr. Barton? Are you ok?,” Peter asked concerned. 

   Tony sighed and powered down the repulsor. Clint.  He should have known. Who the hell else would come falling out of an air vent?

   “Holy shit. There’s something in the vent. Tony, have we had any alien threats lately? Maybe it’s from another dimension, it was dark I couldn’t really see,” Clint rambled while trying to catch his breath.  

   “Yeah, think less alien and more rodent.”

   “Actually they’re Mustela. Not rodents,” Peter pointed out. Tony rolled his eyes.

   “What?,” Clint asked in confusion as he dusted himself off. He had clearly missed something.

“There’s a ferret loose in the tower. Apparently it’s in the air vents,” Tony stated wearily. 

   “Why is there a ferret in the tower?,” Clint asked in amusement. Now that he knew it wasn’t some weird alien, it was kind of funny. To be fair, when running into some unknown furry thing in the dark vents of the tower it wasn’t too far a stretch to assume it was an alien or something from another dimension.

   “Because spidey here thought it would be a good idea to let it stay in a guest bedroom.”

   “I had the door shut!,” Peter protested.

   “Dude, you know those things can slip under doors and in super tight spaces right? They’re crazy flexible,” Clint pointed out. 

   “I know that now,” Peter replied sadly. In hindsight it had been a terrible plan. But he hadn’t had many options.

   “Look, the priority right now is catching that thing safely,” Tony stated. “We can talk about everything else later.”

   Peter nodded. “What should we do?”

   Tony walked over to a nearby computer. “First thing we need to do is figure out where it’s at. I can pull up a map of all the heat signatures in the tower. We should see a ferret-sized one. Ah ha! Next room over,” Tony pointed to the screen. The little bastard was probably stashing his incredibly expensive wrench away. “Let’s catch this furry son of a bitch.”

   “Just, we need to make sure not to hurt Loki,” Peter said with concern. He didn’t think Mr. Stark would actually hurt an animal, he just figured it wouldn’t hurt to mention it. 

   “Kid, I’m not going to snuff a ferret. We’re just going to catch him and put him somewhere safe.”

   “Loki?,” Clint asked in confusion, bristling slightly at the name. 

   “Yeah, that’s his name,” Peter replied warily as he watched Tony gather up tools. 

   “You named your ferret Loki?,” Clint asked. Peter nodded. 

   Tony finished putting a device together in about five minutes, assuring Peter it wouldn’t hurt the ferret. Jesus, he wasn’t really an animal person but why was he convinced Tony wanted to murder a small furry animal. Sure, he had taken his favorite wrench, but damn. He figured it was just Peter’s protective instincts. 

   The two had to wait another five minutes for Clint to finish laughing. The archer was on the floor laughing to hard he was crying. “You named...a ferret...Loki,” he gasped in between laughs. He finally pulled himself together and the three made a plan. 

   Tony had been involved in planning a lot of complex missions, so he figured this would be easy. He was so wrong. Never underestimate a ferret. The plan was for Clint to come out of the vents, Peter the window, and Tony the door. They sealed off all the exits. 

   They didn’t take into account the ferret’s speed and agility as it scampered under their feet and over and around furniture. By the time Tony’s device finally caught him, the room looked like a rock band had trashed it (Tony would know, he had trashed plenty of hotel rooms with bands back in the day). Furniture was toppled over, there was webbing everywhere, not to mention the repulsor blast in the wall. Peter had looked at him  incredulously. Tony shrugged, it was an instinctual reaction, he couldn’t help it. The thing had crawled up his leg. 

   Tony decided to put the ferret into the Hulk-proof room for the time being. “Try escaping from here you little shit,” Tony muttered as he set the makeshift cage in the room. The ferret stared him down like he wanted to accept his challenge. The three then had to explain to their teammates what had happened when they all came running at the sounds of battle. Thor smiled broadly when he heard the ferret’s name. His brother was set to visit in the next few days. He couldn’t wait to introduce him to his namesake. 

   As they cleaned up the trashed guest room they found Loki’s stash in the corner. There was Tony’s tools as well as a couple of Natasha’s knives, a piece of Thor’s armor, Clint’s keys, and a pair of Bruce’s glasses. Tony distributed the items to his amused teammates. 

   Tony and Peter stepped up to the challenge of building a ferret-proof cage. He designed Iron Man suits, how hard could this be? Apparently pretty damn hard. The ferret escaped the first model after a few hours. 

   Doctor Strange was visiting the tower and the ferret managed to pickpocket him and take an important magical artifact. When Peter mentioned it was Loki the sorcerer had been ready to blast the god into another dimension. He calmed down when Peter explained the ferret situation. 

   “You do realize the ferret has a sacred relic with reality warping powers right?,” he asked with a weary sigh. This is why he stayed in the Sanctum.

   "That seems like a personal problem," Tony said unhelpfully, smirking at the disgruntled wizard. Stephen rolled his eyes and began a tracking spell. 

   A few moments later Stephen opened a portal and a surprised ferret came falling through. Right onto Tony’s head. The inventor screamed and started running in circles. Clint was  on the floor laughing again and Peter was frantically chasing Tony trying to get the ferret off. 

   Stephen put the relic in his pocket and smirked. He may or may not have placed the portal above Stark’s head on purpose. He quickly opened a portal to the Sanctum as Peter managed to grab the ferret off of Tony. 

   “You asshole, you did that on purpose,” Tony accused, catching his breath. 

   Stephen shrugged. “Maybe next time don’t refer to me as ‘a children’s party magician’ in front of Nick Fury.” 

   “I’m not the dumbass that got pickpocketed by a ferret and lost a powerful artifact,” Tony retorted. 

   “Maybe next time let me know you have a kleptomaniac ferret on the loose in your tower,” Stephen griped. He rolled his eyes as Tony muttered something under his breath that sounded like “magical douchebag” and stepped through the portal. He definitely wasn’t leaving the Sanctum for the rest of the day.   

   After that Tony redoubled his efforts in constructing a truly escape-proof cage. He took his Hulk cage designs and scaled them down. Peter also started working on training with the ferret after watching videos. After several weeks he was able to litter train him as well as teach him a few basic tricks. Tony also made a ferret leash so Peter could take Loki out in the tower without him running off until he had him more trained. The ferret was already getting more comfortable around his new owner and everyone in the tower was beginning to enjoy his adorable antics. 

  Things were finally going smoothly. Then OG Loki arrived.

   Lately Loki (the god) had been playing nice. While he wasn’t part of the team, he had assisted the Avengers in a few fights and had proven himself mostly trustworthy. He had stopped by to visit Thor and trade barbs with the Avengers. It was something to do. He stopped in his tracks at the scene in the living room of the tower. Thor was sitting next to Peter on the couch while Stark was in a nearby chair watching. Peter had some sort of furry creature with him on a leash.  

   “I taught Loki a new trick Mr. Odinson, do you want to see?,” Peter asked. He had the ferret’s leash in one hand and a training clicker in the other. 

   “I would love to see, Peter. And I’ve told you, call me Thor,” the god replied smiling at Peter’s enthusiasm. 

   “Ok Mr. Thor, watch this. Loki, roll over. Come on, I’ll give you a treat. Roll over...please.” Peter clicked the training clicker three times. After some coaxing the ferret lazily rolled over then pounced on the treats Peter offered. 

   “That was great!,” Thor exclaimed, laughing. Tony snorted. If only their enemies could see the mighty god of thunder giggling over ferret tricks. 

   “Loki’s been doing great, haven’t you boy?,” Peter said fondly rubbing the lanky animal. 

   The three of them looked up when they heard someone clear their throat. Peter’s face paled a little at the sight of the god of mischief standing in the doorway. 

   “You named an otter after me?,” Loki ground out in a mix of impatience and slight amusement (although he would never admit it).

   “Uh oh.” Peter pulled the ferret into his arms and slowly backed up. This was very not good. Tony was ready to jump in if needed, but sat back to watch the show.  

   “It is not an otter brother, it is a ferret,” Thor explained, “It is a member of the mustelidae family and is a domesticated form of the European polecat.”  

   “Yeah, I’m a little concerned about the amount of Animal Planet you’ve been watching blondie. I’ve been meaning to have an intervention, now might be a good time,” Tony stated. 

   “Shut up,” Loki hissed. “I don’t care what this creature’s biological lineage is. I want to know why you’ve named it after me.”

   “I...I didn’t mean any disrespect. It’s just that he likes to play tricks and mess with people and I thought since you’re the trickster god it might be a good name. Ferrets are really smart. And cunning. It just seemed to fit. Plus he’s long and lanky,” Peter rambled. There was a pause. “Please don’t use your magic to turn us into anything weird.” 

   “Well, I suppose I should be flattered that you would choose to name something after me. Even if it is this...ferret,” Loki finally said with a sigh. Tony let out a breath of relief; the situation was defused. Then Thor spoke. 

   “Yes, brother. Did you know ferrets are in the same family as weasels,” Thor stated with a cocky grin. 

   Tony watched as a wave of fury washed over the younger god’s face. Peter jumped behind Tony’s chair. 

   “How...dare you,” Loki growled. “Call me weasel one more time Odinson and you will taste my wrath.”

   “Holy shit,” muttered Tony as daggers materialized in Loki’s hands. The three of them turned to look at Thor. The man barely had time to get the word “weaselface” out of his mouth before Loki charged him and they went crashing through a window onto the terrace below. 

   “Well, I guess I’d better call my window guy. Again,” Tony sighed. This would be the third time this month he’d had to replace windows in the tower. The window company always kept spares at the ready for him. 

   Tony and Peter watched as the two scuffled, less like an epic god battle and more like a cat fight between siblings. The two fell over the side of the terrace. Fortunately, they crashed through several awnings that broke their fall. At least they were on the side of the tower without pedestrians; the two scrambled to their feet in the alley and continued to argue. 

   “Whoah, that was like that really old movie we watched with the archaeologist guy in the Chinese night club,” Peter stated looking at the holes in the awnings. 

   “Kid,  _ Temple of Doom _ isn’t that old.”

   “Isn’t it from the 80’s?,” Peter asked as if that decade might as well have been the 20’s. 

   “Come on, let’s put Loki the ferret up and make sure those idiots don’t kill each other,” Tony stated with a sigh. He gave up on trying to enlighten the kid on pop culture at the risk of feeling old. 

   Thor and Loki finally finished their brawl and reconciled. Tony was impressed no one got stabbed; they really were making progress. The two brothers went off to talk  (peacefully) and Tony and Peter ate dinner while the window guys repaired the shattered windows. 

   The two later sat on the terrace eating ice cream. It was Stark Raving Hazelnuts of course. 

   “‘A bit chalky’ my ass,” Tony muttered as he took a large bite of the delicious ice cream. 

   “What was that Mr. Stark?”

   “Nothing. So, I see you’ve made good progress with Loki’s training. You’re doing a good job of taking care of him.”

   “You think so?,” Peter asked hopefully. 

   “Sure thing. You’re showing a lot of responsibility; more than I did at your age. I’m proud of you kid,” Tony said patting him on the shoulder. He had been trying harder lately to encourage Peter more. God knows he wasn’t always the best at expressing his feelings, but he’d work on it for the kid’s sake.  

   “Thank you Mr. Stark,” Peter said smiling brightly. 

   “You’re welcome. Now, we’re going to watch another 80’s movie and you’re not going to call it old, agreed?”

   “Agreed.”

   The two of them joined some of the other team members for a movie night, with Peter getting pelted with pillows when he made a comment about the “lame special effects.”

   “This movie was way ahead of its time,” Clint said defensively as he chucked a pillow that hit Peter square in the face. 

“Ooof. Whatever you say Mr. Barton.” 

   Tony chuckled as he watched their antics. He pet the ferret sleeping next to him. Surprisingly the thing had grown on him. He blamed Peter. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time writing Peter. For some reason he's been the hardest for me to find his voice, so hopefully I did ok. 
> 
> I've never owned a ferret, but I tried to do my research so sorry for any inaccuracies. 
> 
> I'm planning some future installments of petvengers. Up next will be an epic Halloween party.


End file.
